Five ways to help beat mummy guilt
As mum’s we have such little time, but so much guilt - it’s cruel really. But there are ways to help tackle mummy guilt. Here’s my tips.
You know you’re doing your best as a mum, but despite all the sacrifice and all the hard work there’s that pesky little voice in your head nit picking, criticising and worrying.
Mummy guilt can be all consuming and can take a lot of enjoyment out of motherhood. While we’ll probably never completely escape it, these ideas may help take the sting out of some of some common guilt trips.
1. Back yourself
A lot of new parents feel like they need a guide for how to be the best parent
. It’s hard as a new parent to trust your instinct, but when you’re tackling one of the many challenges you face as a parent it’s important to trust your own judgement. This certainly doesn’t mean you have all the answers, but the fact that you are around your child more than anyone else means you understands your baby’s’ idiosyncrasies best. Don’t let advice from well-meaning people; from your mum, mother in law, lady next door or stranger in the supermarket make you feel like you’re not doing a good job. Back yourself, listen to your intuition and don’t look back.
2. Surround yourself with people who make you feel great
Parenthood is like joining an exclusive club and while I was personally blown away by the positivity and love from the sisterhood, there can also be a lot of judgement. Sadly, women can also be the worst offenders when it comes to criticising other mums. We should be supporting other mums, even if their style is different to our own. We’re all just trying to do our best. Try to back away from people who criticise or fuel your self-doubt and invest your precious time in those who encourage, support and empower you.
3. Time out
Motherhood can be all consuming. Trying to carve out a little bit of me-time
is a great way to gain perspective. When you’re in the moment it’s easy to beat yourself up over things that don’t really matter in the long run. I used to obsess over my daughters sleep and feel selfish if I messed up her routine. I eventually realised while it’s not ideal, it’s not the end of the world if she doesn’t have the best sleep for one day. She will survive, the world will keep turning and tomorrow is a new day.
4. Talk it out
Friends can be a wonderful sounding board to help manage mummy guilt. Sharing stories with other mum’s can help make you realise that no one is perfect; we all make mistakes and that is okay. If you don’t have the time or energy to make baby food or if your baby will only sleep in your arms for the day - so be it. You might even like to look into attachment parenting
if that works best for you. There are far worse things you can do, and some days you have to do what you have to do to stay sane.
5. Imagine they’re adults
Back to top ⌃
When you’re feeling guilty about something, try to think of it in the scheme of your baby’s whole life. Will they be damaged if the icing on their first birthday cake is the wrong shade of pink? Does it hurt them to spend some extra time getting spoilt by their nanna because you need a break? When your baby is 14 years old will he or she be less equipped to deal with life’s challenges if every meal wasn’t home cooked? Absolutely not. So let’s try to cut ourselves some slack.